


59. Christina Ricci and Natalie Portman. The Pie Chart of Doom

by alley_oops, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Sam Worthington and Ryan Kwanten [59]
Category: Actor RPF, Australian Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), True Blood RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-03
Updated: 2008-11-03
Packaged: 2018-01-15 08:25:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1298104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alley_oops/pseuds/alley_oops, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This log does not include our boys but refers to them and is part of a broader storyline so it's being included here.</p><p>Christina is played by tjournal and Natalie by Jay Linden.</p>
    </blockquote>





	59. Christina Ricci and Natalie Portman. The Pie Chart of Doom

**Author's Note:**

> This log does not include our boys but refers to them and is part of a broader storyline so it's being included here.
> 
> Christina is played by tjournal and Natalie by Jay Linden.

_**Christina Ricci and Natalie Portman. The Pie Chart of Doom.** _   
[Current. Takes place after [Christina's journal conversation with Sam Worthington and Ryan Kwanten regarding Natalie as beard](http://www.journalfen.net/users/miss_christina/34107.html).]

Christina has done a lot of work on this and she hopes - after the screaming and the angry glares are over - that Natalie appreciates the pie chart on page six of her presentation.

There are copies of the reasons why this is a good idea. Pictures of Sam and his resume. Horrible scenarios she made up out of the minefield of drama that was her mind.

She's ready to make her case.

"Natalie? Could you come into the living room please?" she calls primly, smoothing down the skirt of her black Dior sheath dress. She's wearing fuck me platforms, her hair pinned back and red lipstick. Like a cocktail party with Power Point.

"Be right there," Natalie calls back, finishing the page she's on and marking it, then heading down to the living room. And staring. "Wow. You look really good," she says. "Oh God, what did I forget that we're supposed to be going to?" Because she's wearing yoga pants, a t-shirt, and no bra.

"No, we're supposed to be here," Christina says primly as she gestures towards the couch. She's got the papers in a neat pink folder on the coffee table and a glass of ice water for them each.  
She figures the liquor will come later.

"I have something to discuss with you and felt I should make a serious presentation while I'm...presenting something serious."

Natalie is so, so confused. She honestly has absolutely no idea what these pink paper folders could be. After all, they've already decided to have a baby, right? Is there a bigger decision after that? "Okay," Natalie says, very slowly. "But you know that you look really sexy right now, and it's hard for me to take anything seriously when you look like that.”

"You can have your wicked way with me later." Christina smiles demurely. She's guessing the evening will more likely end in a spanking, orgasm denial and a gag...but not in a good way.

"For now..." She opens the folder and points to page one. "For now I'm going to present the case on why you should be Sam Worthington's fake girlfriend."

Clearly, Natalie's hearing has gone, because there's nothing in what Christina has just said that makes the slightest sense past the point where she can have her wicked way with her. "Sam who? Wait... _Clash of the Titans_ , right?" she says. Swords and sandals? Yes, please. "Are you pitching me a script? You know I've got an agent already, right? And that he'd probably try and have you killed if you tried to poach me from him."

"There was an advertisement, in the Club journals," Christina continues, suddenly wishing she'd used index cards for notes. "Sam and his boyfriend are looking for a woman to act as Sam's girlfriend for publicity and beard purposes." She turns the notes to page two - Sam's picture and resume. "I thought you would be perfect as you need someone to be on YOUR arm for publicity purposes and he's awfully fucking hot."

She pauses and takes a sip of water.

"Oh my God," Natalie says. And she's not referring to the picture of Sam, even though he is, admittedly, pretty damned hot. She looks up at Christina. "It's finally happened. You've lost your entire mind."

She's not wrong but Christina will not be deterred.

"I've spoken to both Sam and his boyfriend Ryan through the journals - we had a lovely chat and I think they're both on the up and up and in the same situation we are." She stops to take a whooping breat, her heart thudding in her chest. "Ryan hates not being open but he loves Sam and he wants Sam's career to be safe. So we're sorta on the same page with that. And...and..." She falters for a moment, tucking her hands behind her back. "And yeah. They're good guys."

"You've already _talked to them about it_?" Natalie's voice gets louder, and pitch gets higher the more words she says. And then she's standing, and she's really not sure when that happened, because she's quite sure that not that long ago she was sitting. Her mind is whirring, and her heart is pounding and she thinks that her brain is about to explode out her ears, because seriously. This time, she's pretty sure Christina has gone _around the bend_.

At that Christina frowns. "Of course I spoke to them! I would never suggest this if I hadn't vetted them. Jeesh. I even called up some staffers and used my charm..." She gestures towards her breasts. "...to make sure they're decent guys. I love you - I want what's best for you but I'm not stupid."

"Okay--seriously--you're going to make that face at me when you've been... I don't know, conspiring behind my back with an Australian actor and his boyfriend and putting this all in motion, and I'm hearing about it now... no, honest to God, I think you've lost your mind this time," Natalie says, giving her head a shake, then forcing herself to take a deep breath, dropping down onto the couch and trying to pull her brain back together. Because _seriously_.

"Yes, I'm conspiring behind your back because I love you and I want your career to be safe from question and I want to distance you from me publicly when I'm pregnant." Christina points to the papers. "And yeah, you know - I have lost my mind. I have. Because the thought of having to see you all over the gossip pages looking beautiful on his arm makes me want to projectile vomit my _soul_. But this isn't about me."

"Exactly," Natalie says. "You'd hate this. You will--you're going to be hormone riddled, and pregnant, and you want me going to move premieres and restaurants with someone else? You'll lose your mind even more and I'll end up talking you down from a clock tower after you take everyone out who's wearing a blue hat," she says.

“This is crazy," Natalie continues. "Sweet, but crazy, and unnecessary. You're overreacting." _There. All done, decision made, time to go have sex and forget this conversation ever happened._

"I may be crazy but I handled on my own for a pretty long time so don't worry about the clocktower," Christina says, heels together, hands behind her back. "And frankly, someone has to think about your career logically since you are just hand waving reality. Whatever was before just got jerked up to eleven - see that pretty gold statue on the shelf? You're not an actress anymore. You're an Academy Award winning actress."

"I know," Natalie says, looking back at Christina again. "And I wouldn't have made it through shooting the movie that won me the award if I hadn't had you in my life," she says bluntly.

"Thank you but like me managing my crazy solo, you can manage your talent solo. But your career, that's something else you know? You have to pay attention to it because one affects the other." Her shoulders slump a little. "I'd like to come up with some other solution but...but I can't. And I've said this a thousand times Natalie and I will say it a thousand times more - I can't be the reason your talent doesn't get the rewards it deserves."

She wishes they were sitting down. Lying down. She feels faintly sick because for all her jokes about Natalie's anger, she hates it.

Natalie hates that look on Christina's face. She hates having this argument.

And she kind of really hates the fact that Christina might be making a lot of sense.

Natalie sighs and leans back against the couch, rubbing at her eyes with the base of her palms, trying to give herself some time to think of this magical other way that's been eluding Christina so far. "You talked to them first because you knew that if you showed me the ad, I'd say no before it even got off the ground. Didn't you?"

"Baby, I made a pie chart. I have thought this out to the point I'm legally drunk from lack of sleep. Of course that's what I did."

Natalie sighs. Really, really loudly. And she lets her hands drop. "I'm not promising anything yet," she warns Christina. "Show me your pie chart."

Christina sniffles. "Okay. There's also some worst case scenarios in there. Sorry - I was kind of hormonal when I wrote those pages."

There are eleven.

She sits down on the couch next to Natalie, smoothing the hem over her knees. "The charts are of your upcoming publicity schedule. Invitations, confirmed appearances, festivals. You're going to need a male escort and after a while just-a-friend raises suspicions."

Natalie's _publicist_ doesn't put this much time and attention to her public appearances and what kind of escort she should have.

Largely because Natalie made too big of a stink too many times, and she gave up.

"Okay," she says. "I'm not necessarily agreeing with you. But okay. That's a lot."

"That's just what's confirmed." Christina's guts do a tight squeeze and she pulls out another paper. "Social events you should probably be attending. Charity stuff. Now, Sam's going to have stuff too but we can work it out - one big master schedule. And once it's established you two are dating, showing up solo when you're in different cities or countries can be handled."

"Great," Natalie mumbles. "We can get a white board and mount it to the wall in the playroom to track my fake life." Sarcasm, thy name is Portman. Right. She's supposed to be listening.

"You know that I've never confirmed that I was dating anyone, right? Not David when we were together, not Hayden when everyone just _thought_ we were together," Natalie points out. "I don't comment. I never have." The 'why can't I just keep doing that?' is rather loudly implied.

The white board is a good idea but Christina doesn't say it out loud. She knows they've entered the sarcastic phase of this "discussion".

"Once again I gesture to the gold statuette on the bookshelf. Your profile is upped, demand is upped, expectation is upped. You could say no comment before but now - you sort of don't have a choice. If you don't specify they'll start following you and going through your goddamn garbage." Her voice wavers. "And we can't really consider bringing a baby into that."

Dirty pool. Christina doesn't just have to use her breasts to get her way.

Natalie scowls--a lot. That's not fair play at all. But she decides to leave off the sarcasm for at least five minutes.

Also, Oscar's not allowed in the bedroom for at least a week. She's really pissed at him right now. "Proceed with your multimedia presentation."

Christina looks at the folder, then at Natalie and sighs, hands in a tight knot in her lap.  
"Listen, the paper is just a...distraction okay? The dress, the hair, the shoes. They're props for this little scene. The whole point is to make you see why this has to happen. And if you don't see my point then frankly I'm prepared to beg."

"I see your point," Natalie says softly. And it's one hell of a concession for her to make and say out loud. Especially for something she's been fighting this long. "Fuck," she mutters, leaning forward and letting her hair fall over her shoulders and into her face, needing a few moments to think.

Christina won and managed to feel triumphant and sad at the same time.

"I love you and I will do everything I can to make this easy on you," she murmured, darting her fingers out to brush her lover's shoulder.

"I can't do it if you're going to be hating me for being out there doing it," Natalie says, still looking at her hands. "I can't be out there, acting while I'm supposed to be being me if I know that you're at home throwing darts at a picture of me and him from that week's US Weekly. Do you know why I don't want to do this? Why I'm afraid?" Natalie asks, finally lifting her head and looking at Christina.

"Because publicly, at least, this means I'm putting my career ahead of you, and the baby. It means that whether I'm flat out saying I'm with him or just letting everyone do a lot of implication, it means I'm saying I'm _not_ with you. And maybe that's the whole point, but it makes me feel like a really lousy girlfriend, and makes me afraid that I'll end up being a shitty mom. What am I going to miss while I'm out on the red carpet? What if you end up resenting me for it?" _What if I lose you?_ Christina wasn't the only one who could be dramatic or Queen of the Worst Case Scenario.

Christina bites her lip because sobbing was really not on the agenda tonight.

"I could never hate you. Ever." Christina looks at the chandelier overhead and inhales. Exhales. "And this arrangement will occasionally suck for both of us. But the alternative would eventually ruin us too."

If Christina cries, Natalie'll cry. And right now, she really, really doesn't want to do that. She swallows hard and takes a deep breath, pushing her hair back. "Tell me about this deal you've brokered. Tell me about the boys."

"They're like us. Ryan is...he hates it and yet he's pushing for it and so we're probably going to be great commiserating friends. And Sam is nice and he hates having to do it but he loves Ryan and he'd...he'd pick Ryan before his career just like you but Ryan doesn't want that..." She's rambling. "They're just in the same boat we are and they want to meet you. Also, they think you're hot and talented so we know they have great taste."

"You don't have to flatter--you already won," Natalie says, flopping onto her side with a groan, letting self-pity take over. Yeah. Poor her. Her girlfriend was fixing her up with a movie star so that the paparazzi would leave them alone and they could continue to have their incredibly awesome life together.

Sometimes, she thought she really was a complete spoiled brat.

"They're nice? Really?"

"Seems like. We're going to meet them when they get back to New York - see how you and Sam get along. That's the only way it'll work." Victory feels hollow but the feverish need in her to make this work is at least appeased. "Hopefully you guys will get along."

"Something tells me that if you and Ryan don't get along, we might as well not even bother," Natalie points out, not getting up from where she's flopped over on the couch. "How do you see this working, exactly?" she asks. "Is there a plan? How public do they want to get?"

Christina takes a long drink of her ice water, unparching her tired tongue.

"Public as in a couple. Nice simple stories about your nice simple love. Premieres. Events. Dinner. Couple stuff." She shrugs. "Throw off the scent from me and Ryan."

"Nights? Traveling? Pictures of me leaving his place in the wee hours of the morning?" Natalie asks. "Are you ready for that part? For all the speculation and the media and what doing this is going to mean?" Natalie blinks a few times. "What are you going to tell your _mother_?"

Christina hand waves because it's a total toss up which is going to drive her to drink first - the press or her mother. "I'll tell her its for the baby's sake and distract her with grandchild talk. She'll be the easiest part," she says blithely.

"Uh huh. And the hardest part?" Yeah, who's handwaving reality now?

"Me." Christina risks a glance at her girlfriend's face.

Natalie looks at her and sighs, then sits up. "Come here," she murmurs, patting her lap. Up to  
Christina if she chooses to go directly to her lap, or take the floor, chin on her knee.

Wobbly in body and soul, Christina drops to the floor, temple resting against Natalie's knee. This has gone both better and worse than she imagined and it's so impossibly hard to be a grownup sometimes.

She tucks herself into a little line, tight dress and heavy heels straining her muscles.

"You love me like no one in my life has ever loved me," Natalie says softly, stroking Christina's hair. "You want what's best for me--what's best for us--even when it hurts. I think the reason I fight the reality of my career so hard is because the way you love me intoxicates me. It makes me feel like we can do anything. Like we can take on the world and win."

"We're really quite fierce, I wouldn't cross us," Christina quips, rubbing her cheek against Natalie's leg like a hungry cat. "And you know - I'd do anything for you. Anything."

"We are fierce," Natalie says, keeping her fingers moving through Christina's hair. "And I know you would. So if we're going to do this, I need a promise."

"Okay - what do I have to promise? And I ask only for you to remember I'm clinically crackers. This won't be admissible in court."

"Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don't know," Natalie says, waving it off and smiling, then tilting Christina's head up, expression shifting into something more serious. "I want you to promise me someday. Some day, I want to be able to take your hand, and not give a shit who takes a picture of it. I'm not going to ask you for a timeline. Could be in five years, if the political and social climate changes. Could be when we're little old ladies, if that's when we decide that we're ready. I don't need to know when. I just need you to tell me that some day, we won't have to lie anymore."

Christina swallows around the knot in her throat and not trusting her voice, nods shakily. She keeps nodding, even as tears spill around the corners of her eyes. She wishes she could give in to her selfish spoiled brat side and demand it NOW and silence the protective part that's determined to be...noble.

Stupid noble.

Natalie wipes away Christina's tears, and leans down to kiss her, very softly. "Okay," she says, almost whispering. "We'll meet them. And if we like them, and we think it'll work, then I'm in," she says. "As long as you promise that one day, some day, it all ends, and I just get you. And to hell with everyone else."

"Little old lady lesbian wedding, promise," Christina murmurs into Natalie's cheek. "And you'll like them, promise. This is all going to work out."

"I'm holding you to that," Natalie murmurs.  



End file.
